I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize