Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
