Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
