I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
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If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
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I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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