A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
