I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
