I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
