Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
