Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
