If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
