people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
