My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
