So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
