Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
