I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
