It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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