why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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