Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
