I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
