The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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