I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize