dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
