plz talk dirty to me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
