check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
