Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
