I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
