we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
