Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
