Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
