Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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