Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
