I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
