feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
