Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down