it hurts more in the daytime
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU