Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.