Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (453): View more from

  apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (453): apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it. http://tfl.nu/3val
  Replies (15) Good night (559) Bad night (3959) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass. http://tfl.nu/11ss
  Replies (8) Good night (876) Bad night (4461) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK" http://tfl.nu/gedz
  Replies (17) Good night (5156) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Nevermind, it's not water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle. (907): Nevermind, it's not water. http://tfl.nu/jzsy
  Replies (24) Good night (7002) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. http://tfl.nu/a1lj
  Replies (65) Good night (27825) Bad night (1799) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  please dont tell anyone i was drunk

  (1-607): View more from New York

  you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): please dont tell anyone i was drunk (1-607): you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know http://tfl.nu/3807
  Replies (12) Good night (1088) Bad night (4207) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact? http://tfl.nu/ny5t
  Replies (30) Good night (1660) Bad night (7249) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure http://tfl.nu/itoo
  Replies (6) Good night (3773) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times http://tfl.nu/2nqn
  Replies (7) Good night (2822) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion http://tfl.nu/g8mo
  Replies (11) Good night (2606) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life. http://tfl.nu/0z43
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame (774): I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success http://tfl.nu/49mo
  Replies (6) Good night (1537) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram. http://tfl.nu/54ok
  Replies (2) Good night (857) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat

  (1-408): View more from California

  your picture is with misty too!!

  (408): View more from California

  I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat (1-408): your picture is with misty too!! (408): I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE http://tfl.nu/688p
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (158)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy http://tfl.nu/ir99
  Replies (5) Good night (182) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt

Randomize