Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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