my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
