he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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