I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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