Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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