woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
