...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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