8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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