What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We named our party play list daddy issues
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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