i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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