Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
