i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize