I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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