Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
