my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
