she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
