Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
