I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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