hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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