I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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