he puts the penis in happiness.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
