who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We need to rekindle our bromance
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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