Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
