dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
