there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
