is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
