You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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