i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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