dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
