She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
