wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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