I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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