oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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