Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
