I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
