i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
