I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
